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CT gets started talking about getting yet another traffic ticket and the trials and tribulations of being a parent.

Kara brings the News of the Day with stories about Adam Carolla, Rodney King, Priscilla Presley and more.

I Can’t Have Nice Things

CT talks about losing his expensive Ray Ban sunglasses after less than 24 hours of owning them. He talks about being the Best Man at a wedding over the weekend.

He talks about his Android smartphone and his Stitcher application fucking him over while a client called.

Kara brings the News of the Day.

Featuring an interview with Rambo from the A Little Punch Drunk podcast.

Rambo of the A Little Punch Drunk podcast

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CT gets started talking about having to go to Traffic school twice and about all his speeding tickets over time.

He introduces a new segment that cronicles the insanity of humanity called ‘Missed Connections’ from Craigslist.

Kara brings the news of the day.

Life Lessons that will help you

Life Lessons They Don’t Teach You In School

1) Don’t Go Into Debt

2) Maximize Your Retirement (401k)

3) Personal Responsibility ; Take Care of Your Kids

4) Live Together Before You Get Married (But Don’t Move In Together Too Soon)

5) Learn To Work and Do a Good Job

6) Build Good Life Habits

7) You Owe It To Your Loved Ones To Be Happy

Kara brings The News of the Day

CT asks if the world is ready for a new podcast about asskicking and being a badass?

He talks about moving around the country and his various suspensions and expulsions.

I Was Kicked Out Of School!

He talks about a ‘Game of Thrones’ story of romance.

Kara brings the News of the Day

CT talks about the guy at the beer store recognizing him and his order.

He talks about the one time he drank himself Schizophrenic.

I hope I'm not crazy.....

He talks about taking Alpha Brain.

He also talks about his drinkingest friend, Mat, and his skills at passing out early in the evening.

Kara brings the News

CT gets started complaining about his neighbor literally mowing his lawn in the dark.

This, except it was in the dark.

He talks about playing with his daughter and how she beats him up.

He talks about it being Tax Day, and all the fun that goes into that.

Kara brings the News of the Day.

CT and Kara read their letters to each other during the Hockey Playoffs, here they are:

A Letter To My Wife During The Hockey Playoffs

Dearest Love,

As you well know, you are the light of my life; you are my companion through the hills and valleys of this life. Being together with you and our children is what defines my very existence.

When I look into your eyes I still see the woman I fell in love with all those years ago and cannot wait for what life has in store for us next. When you are sleeping beside me at night I know the secret to the meaning of my life.

That said, tonight the NHL playoffs start and we won’t be seeing each other very often for the next few weeks.

The grass will not be mowed as often as you would like and I will not be available for helping with the kid’s bath and bedtimes. The vehicles will most likely only be washed when it rains and please remember to only talk to me during commercials.

I will prefer to watch the games on the big TV, so you will have to DVR your programs and watch them at other times.

Also, during this time I would prefer the refrigerator to be stocked with my favorite hockey-watching foods and beverages. A quick trip to the grocery store every now and then would really mean a lot to me.

Now, we both know that my work schedule will not allow me to watch every game live, so DVR-ing my games will take precedence over anything you would want to watch.

You should expect the living room to look a little more ‘lived in’ than usual, so a bit of extra attention there on your part would be great.

I would hope you have a good attitude when my friends and I wake you and the kids up with our late night yelling at the TV and high-fiving.

Remember that we’re a team and sometimes you need to go the extra mile for the sake of being a team-player.

You will find me to be very upbeat during this time, unless my team ends up losing early on; in which case I will be angry and depressed.

During the action, I will not be able to make it to the refrigerator, so I may need you to be ‘on call’ and bring out an occasional sandwich or drink.

Also, since most games start around 7:00 or 7:30, dinner should be ready no later than 6:30.

I know I don’t need to bring this up, but please try to limit your walking in front of the TV to zero times.

Remember, our love knows no bounds and is a light that never goes out.

Your Loving Husband

___________________________________________________________________

Her Actual Response

Dear Hubby,

I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you how much you mean to me. I have loved you for almost half of my life and I am so happy with the life we live together.

You have given me a wonderful family and I wake up happy every day just knowing that our love is so strong. We can get through anything life throws at us and I am excited about what the future holds for our little family.

I have read your “love letter” full of “gentle reminders” about how I can help you more thoroughly enjoy the playoff season and I would like to share my responses.

Please keep in mind that I love you and everything that follows is written with great care and the utmost respect.

I look forward to taking care of all of your nutritional needs during the playoffs. If I remember correctly from past years, this playoff season will last approximately 982 days so I may have to repeat a recipe or two, but I’ll try hard to keep the menus varied.

Just to give you a sneak-peek, the first night I’ll be serving a delightful brussel sprout salad with balsamic vinegar and sliced almonds that is light enough that you will have plenty of room for beer!

Don’t worry about the mess you make in the living room, I’ll be happy to tidy up after I’m finished sorting your socks. Now, keep in mind that I am looking forward to doing these things, I’ll just need to finish up my online chat with Julio…um, I mean Stacey.

Feel free to DVR the games that you can’t watch while you are working. I’ve just finished our taxes and that four-figure income you pulled in last year is a constant reminder about how hard you work everyday for our family. Clearly you deserve to come home and watch these games at your leisure.

I’m sorry, that game you programmed didn’t record? That’s funny, I must have been recording too many shows at once. I can’t believe that I didn’t delete America’s Next Top Model and Trading Spaces so your game would record! Oops! I am sure that will never happen again.

Please don’t feel obligated to help out with bathtime and bedtime. I know these games are very important to you and I would never ask you to participate in the actual parenting process.

Of course, as a result of this, you will not be participating in any kind of “process” with your loving wife for the duration of the season- know what I mean? Wink wink.

Don’t worry about all that beer you’ve been drinking, that new beer belly is hardly noticeable. I know, I know, I shrunk all your clothes in the dryer. Shame on me for doing laundry for 15 years without incident before now. Clearly I just got lucky with the past 2,138 loads of laundry.

Thanks so very much for giving me the opportunity to respond to your kind letter. I look forward to the playoff season and I’ll be sure to tell Julio„,um, I mean Stacey you said “hey.”

With unending love,

Your Very Patient Wife

—————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Second Time Around Being The Best Man

CT also complains about people with Hyphenated Last Names.

Kara brings the News of the Day.

CT gets started talking about one of his great old friends coming to town. He goes on about the hot water going out at his house and the bad encounter he has with the heating and cooling guy that came to fix it.

Kara brings the News of the day.

Featuring a Conversation with Steve Goodyear, Host of The 42 Special Podcast.

Steve Goodyear

Check out their Kick Ass Podcast!

Also an Awesome Podcast